Breastfeeding.

While I was pregnant it was drummed into us that you must breastfeed, you must breastfeed. I know that it is the best think for the baby, which is why I felt so under pressure to continue to try and breastfeed James even though James wasn't get enough and I was getting very upset and struggling with it.

A nurse came round a week after James was born. She weighted him and said that because he had lost of much weight we need to go back into hospital. Naturally I was devastated. I had been trying so hard to get the feed right. I was sore and it was so painful it brought tears to my eyes. I was also very upset because I was finding it so difficult especially as Col and Marley seem to be coping.

After crying at the nurse, she rang the hospital and asked their advice. I didn't mind if I had to take James in every day to be checked out, I didn't want to stay over night. I would have no sleep in the wards and no support from John to help me. The nurse said she would come round again in a few days and check him out. Before she left she showed me again how to feed him. I was determined that we would not go into the hospital, even if it meant going on to formula. I sent John out to get some just in case. I watch a you tube video which showed, with a real baby how I should be feeding him it was different to the hospital advice. I used a lot of pillows to support him weight and held how I found it comfortable not how the nurse showed me. Eventually we managed. I think it took about 3 weeks for us both to be completely happy about it and for the pain to wear off. Even then 4 months in a blocked up and the whole pain thing began again. I can completely understand why people use formula and I think if it wasn't for Col and Marley I would have given in ages before hand, but because they was able to do it I was determined that I could.