After I few tears tonight and John comforting me again. I mentioned to John that I would like a blossom tree in our new garden, thinking that would be a nice way to remember the baby. It gets to me that I will have nothing to remember him by. I didn't tell John that was why I wanted a tree thinking he would think I was being silly. Speaking him tonight he had a similar plan to plant a rose bush at the new house. I think I blossom would be more suitable as James can play under it and it looks beautiful in spring.
Just 2 more days to get through. Tomorrow was meant to be 12 week scan day. I day where I would be able to see my baby. Wednesday is now scan day just to check that everything has gone. Deep breath.