My favourite part of each day use to be moment as you wake up and begin to think about the day ahead and also the moments at night when everything is still just before you drift off to sleep.
I have come to dread these moments of the day. The moment I wake and realise that not everything is as it should be, that something is missing and can never be replaced.
The nights are the worst. Laying there willing myself to get some sleep, all the time thinking. I have started going to bed latter, watching rubbish TV in the hope sleep will come quicker.
During the day I can keep my thoughts at bay. James and Penny keep me busy. My garden has never looked so good, every weed has been pulled. I've made a good start on the playhouse, getting it painted.
If only there was a way to just switch my brain off. I desperately need a good nights sleep.